GUESTBREAKER: You Have Your Ex-Girlfriend’s Initials Tattooed on Your Back
I’m glad you chose to take me to this diner, buy me two eggs over easy, and ask me if I noticed your high school girlfriend’s initials tattooed on your back, because frankly, these eggs are delicious. So why did you think that was a good idea? Is your name Johnny Depp or something? Is your ex-girlfriend Winona Ryder? I didn’t think so. Well I’m glad you brought i up first, because I actually hadn’t noticed your tattoo. Now once I finish these eggs, you can bet those silver dollar pancakes you’re eating that I’m going to make a point of taking off your shirt and sneaking a peak at your back. Luckily for both of us this is only a summer fling, because I’m about to be repulsed by the font choice of said tattoo (Times New Roman) and the random location you chose (bottom left shoulder blade), which only begins to touch on the idiocy of this emblem of impulsive, embarrassing teenage passion. When all is said and done, I want to thank your tattoo for helping make this relationship over easy.A Guest Dealbreaker written by Celeste.
